18-year-old daughter cuts off her mom and stepdad immediately after her wedding, comes crawling back 6 years later with 2 kids asking for money after her husband cheated: 'I told her very calmly that she cut ME off for no reason'

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    AITA for not wanting my daughter in my life after SHE cut me off for 6 years?

    My late husband passed away when my daughter Nelly was just five years old, and I had her when I was 17. I remarried Benz when Nelly was ten. For the first five years of our relationship, I focused on Nelly and continued to prioritize her well-being throughout my marriage to Benz.
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    While my husband expressed a desire for children soon after we married, I made it clear that I preferred to wait until Nelly turned 18. I wanted to ensure that she never felt abandoned or replaced. For thirteen years, Benz respected my decision and, despite being childfree, never voiced any complaints.
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    He has always been supportive of my relationship with Nelly, understanding that he could never replace her father. Once Nelly turned 18, our family dynamic remained strong, and we all supported her when she met her fiancé. My late husband's
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    parents took Benz in and respected him a lot for not wanting to "replace" their son. At my daughter's wedding she even gave a speech to my husband about how amazing he was and supportive and how she loved him, they acknowledged Benz in a heartfelt speach. However, after
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    the wedding, Nelly unexpectedly cut off contact with us, we were so shocked, no explanation as to why just silently after she told us she never wanted to see us again. Though we were hurt, I asked my late husband's parents to continue supporting her without pressuring her to reconnect with us.
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    Nelly went on to have two children but did not reach out to us, and despite our attempts to contact her during the first two years of her no-contact decision, we eventually stopped and we dropped contact from our end too. During that time, Benz and I
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    welcomed a four-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son into our family. Benz has never been happier, as he always wanted biological children, even though he loved raising my daughter.
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    I got a message last Sunday from a number stating that my daughter might reach out in the coming days and said that he (i did not know it was a man then) hopes "ill be smart enough not to let her back in". Then, I received a call from my late husband's in- laws, who informed me that
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    Nelly's husband had cheated on her and was leaving her for his mistress and she was all alone. I was shocked by the news, as he had seemed devoted to her. I asked my ex-mother-in-law to convey my support to Nelly during this difficult time. Im sure she then told my daughter this
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    because my daughter reached out AFTER my ex mil gave her my number and the first thing she said was "mom, I don't know how i'm going to take care of my kids alone" not a hello, or even a "sorry for cutting you off" ect. I asked her what she wanted me to do about that and she told me
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    that she needed financial help, lol sorry but i actually laughed and she then went on to say that my “grandkids” had just lost their father and i could not be bothered by them.
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    mad when she I got so said that and i told her very calmly that she cut ME off for no reason and asked her why she cut me off, she couldnt even give me a reason. I told her that i don't normally discourage people from cutting off their parents if they absolutely need to and told her that the same goes for parents. I
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    told her that it can't just be ok for ONE set of adults in the family to cut the other off and the other cant. In the end, before I told her that HER kids are not my responsibility, I don't know her kids and I have no emotional ties to them because of her. Its sad but the way i feel about my grandkids is the way you would
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    feel caring about a random celebrity kids and thats so sad. I ended up telling her to please not contact me and that she chose to go NC, i told her that i had a life and i was NOT willing to bring her into that life, near her siblings only for her to cut me off and HER kid siblings off whenever she felt like it and kindly told her to not call back.
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    Aita for not giving her money and not helping her out financially after she cut me off for 6 years.
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    Sea-Operation-6123 Who sent you that random text? Did you continue to stay in contact your in-laws? Did your daughter ever tell them why she chose not to talk to you?
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    Away-Afternoon-9587 OP She never told them and I made sure to tell them TO NEVER PRESSURE her to have a relationship with me. I kept in touch with my in laws (ex?), but I'm guessing they have my sil my number to contact me BEFORE he left my daughter? I have not asked my ex mil yet but I'm sure that's what happened
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    Sea-Operation-6123 I'm still confused about who sent the text. Did you follow up with that person? Ask what they meant? Does anyone know what the h_I your daughter has been doing for 6 years? You are allowed to make your own choices. If you choose not to have any contact with your daughter again then that's your choice. You can certainly hold your daughter accountable for her choices but she is not accountable for your choices.
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    As a mom of 4 adults kids, I find it very difficult to understand how your seemingly happy family suddenly became totally dysfunctional overnight or why your in-laws did not question your daughter's decision. Your daughter's actions make absolutely no sense. I don't understand why people were not highly concerned about her behavior. You raised her, so what happened? Did she suddenly become a different person overnight? There's a puzzle piece missing here. I don't think I could sleep at night wit
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    Elliewick She said SIL sent the text, which had me confused a bit cause I was reading it as sister-in-law. But after rereading, I finally understood she is talking about her son-in-law, aka her daughters ex.
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    NY_State-a-Mind It was obviously the exhusband hes manipulating you to punish her, i know youre angry but have you considered her ex was an ab_ive and controlling person who manipulated or threatened your daughter into no contact.
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    EmGherm19 Nothing is making sense here. Who sent you that text? She made a big speech about you and her step dad at the wedding and then cut you off shortly after? Did something happen between her and step dad between the wedding and the cut off?
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    CJsopinion I'm thinking the ex sent the message.
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    Unhappy_Wishbone_551 Imo, this story could be explained in two likely ways. The first, OP is misrepresenting herself, and the family dynamics as is done by the various types of really parents. The way it's written seems straight up and to the point, but could be hiding lots of information.Second, she was isolated by an ab ser. That's entirely possible. That's what they do. The suddenness of the NC could be explained by either. Or both. With the lack of further details, I can only guess.

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